Macumba

From Goodbye Eternity Wiki
Macumba
In-universe information
Nicknames
  • Mountain of muscles (by the Thugs)
  • Macumbgod (by the community)
GenderMale
PositionThe Park

Overview

A muscular black man truly in love with music that comes from a foreign country, he isn't very used to Japanese culture beyond shōnen anime and serialized adult content, he is the cornerstone of Saito's progress through the hardships he goes through and the physically and metaphorically the biggest building block of Goodbye Eternity's story. He is Saito's go-to Man for advice and for help with anything he can ever need.

Thugs causing him trouble? Macumba, physical prowess and training advice? Macumba, in need of help with women? Macumba, Goku travelled to your universe and slapped your mother? Macumba's the right guy to solve all of these problems!

If Goku and Vegeta ganged up on him during the deepest parts of his sleep he would Multi-Dimensionally, Multi-Linguistically, Multi-Culturally and Unilaterally beat them through the multiverse without even using 1 neuron to its full potential while still remaining fully, peacefully and comfortably asleep.

He has a great cult like religious following that is closing in on being the third-biggest religion in the world! He could easily become the protagonist, the main character, the villain, the artist, the coder, the author and the game engine for Goodbye Eternity if he wanted to! But he is so kind and so generous that he lets the Developers keep bread on their tables for their families and save Saito from staying a multi-timeline virgin.

Oh, and he can't move without music, he needs music to do anything including pleasuring himself, him and Kimochi bonded over the love of audible pleasures such as listening to 10 hours of loli brea… is that the swat sirens I'm hearing?


Appearance

Macumba is a tall, extremely muscular and athletic black man with a 90s style afro haircut wearing a red track suit. Macumba has the single best male physique that can be found on the planet, his muscle insertions and proportions are so great that it would not be faulty to assume his body is not just a result of natural training.

His body is a result of years of dedication, discipline, hard work and listening to 10 hours of loli breathing on repeat which has been proven to cause a steroid level increase in natural testosterone production.

His testicles produce so much testosterone that his blood can be injected into any man or woman and be used as a steroid stage substance.

His titanic death star delts and his mountain traps reign above and beyond all spectacles on the planet as the utmost beautiful and the most glorious sights to ever come out of man's effort to create beauty.

His lats are wide enough that if he flapped his arms he could cause enough air pressure to build up under him that he wouldn't just start flying, no, he would push the earth out of its orbit and cause spatial anomalies that can not be explained by physics or any branches of science that attempt to do so.

His quads and glutes are so wide and thick that if he was to fully flex them the entire male population would turn homosexual from the sheer beauty and dominance of his enormous gluteus and the entire female population would willingly join his harem from the security of his inner-quad space that he can turn into a pocket dimension with the sheer force of a clap of his thighs.

His back is so wide that if every human on the planet wrote the names of their entire bloodline on it, there would still be space for 3-fold more.

His arms are so girthy that by simply looking at them, you, YES YOU! Will lose your anal virginity as if he had fisted you for days and nights straight!

His neck is so strong that he could take the combined punch force of all of the characters from DBZ in a 1/10¹⁰⁰th of a square millimeter space on his head and not flinch at all.

His calves are so big that he could simply show them inflexed and win every single bodybuilding competition throughout human history!